I'm back to blogging because it gives me a venue to express thoughts that I can't express anywhere else, and that is very therapeutic for me! I sometimes think I don't have time to blog but that's like saying I don't have time to think, and that is a really pitiful condition.
Today I'm thinking that I am a wimpy Christian, and I want to talk about that for my own excoriation of spirit and consequent edification of soul! We have just got through the Babe in the Manger part of Christianity and I have slobbered along with everyone else over the beauty of the Babe in the Manger, the loveliness of the creche, the warm, fuzzy feelings we have toward the whole Christmas setting, and then toward mankind because the Angels sang about peace on earth and good will to all men.
And then the rest of the year, I am a complete wimp when it comes to letting those in my small world know how I really feel about being a Christian. First, I fail to declare my faith that it is Jesus, who is God Incarnate, who is my personal Savior and who is the potential Savior of the world. I quibble along with other believers who try to be politically correct and affirm that there might indeed be other ways to God than through the Cross of Christ. I don't dare say to believers and non-believers alike, what C.S. Lewis affirmed so strongly, that "No, either Jesus is the Divine and Unique Son of God, or He is a mad man or the greatest con artist the world has ever known." And if He is indeed Who He Claims To Be, then He is the only Redeemer of men's souls.
And the love that He has for all mankind is a redeeming love, which means to me that it is a costly, sacrificial, strong and everlasting love that reaches to the pits of hell to draw me out of the enslavement of my sin, and cleanse me and re-make me into what He desires me to be.
This redemptive love is not a warm, cosy, pathetic, self-abnegating, "you didn't mean to be bad" patting on the head of a "sorry I did it (and got caught)" so-called repenter. It is a love that cost the Everlasting, Eternal, God of the Universe, everything that He had and was!!! And that kind of love, if it is to redeem me, must be accepted by me on my knees before God and saying "I give You all that I am; all that I will ever be, and I trust you forever with all of my heart and soul."
The Christian faith is a gutsy, husky, all-or-nothing-at-all faith and it is not for sissies, or quibblers, or abnegators, or compromisers, or pie-in-the-sky-ers, or anyone who is unwilling to submit, finally, to the God of all the Universe, who does, in fact, love us redemptively.
This is what I really believe. Will I be courageous enough to share my faith with anyone who happens to enter my small, small, world, and will I let Him who is God do in my life what He wills to do?
I hope so.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
This 'n That
I need to blog today because I am stuck here in the house for another 24 hours before I can get out in the sun again. My dermatologist put me through a procedure on Thursday to eliminate all the pre-cancers on my face, and after getting my face "fried," I have to stay inside for 48 hours. He really didn't "fry" it, but that's what it feels and looks like. Lots of red blotches and heat, and it has made me feel pretty punk. But, as my Mom always said, "This too will pass, Marie."
I spend so much time getting things done to me in my old age that life sometimes becomes pretty boring. Got the cataracts removed and now I can see (a miracle), and now we hope to have stamped out facial cancers, but I'm pretty sure something else will "fall off" soon and I'll be back on the doctor route again. Oh well, when Obama gets the health care program in place, I won't ever have to see a doctor again --- we spend far too much money in this country on old people and their ailments-- and we've got to stop that!
Two famous (?) people died yesterday: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. I wonder at all the publicity and hoopla we Americans give to our entertainment stars demise. It's all a part of our American culture, I guess. Nevertheless, I feel saddened at their deaths; I'm not sure either one had a really happy life.
I really like a lot of the "things" our world has for us these days, and one of the most satisfying to me is this computer where I can write, and write, and write, for my own pleasure; where I can use email and correspond with friends at a moment's notice; where I can find information about almost anything with just a tap of a key. The tech world is a mystery to me, but I love the benefits I get from my sparce knowledge.
Kevin and Kathryn will soon be off to college and they will be missed by us. I'm glad for their going, but I worry (like any responsible grandma should) about the challenges they will face. I know they will do well, but I sometimes feel by them as I felt, many times, for my own three children. I wanted to wrap my arms around them, hold them close to me, and keep the world at bay so they would never be hurt. But I had to let them go; that's one of the tough things a parent has to do.
Life is good. At 87, I rejoice in the life I have now, and thank God for His blessings.
I spend so much time getting things done to me in my old age that life sometimes becomes pretty boring. Got the cataracts removed and now I can see (a miracle), and now we hope to have stamped out facial cancers, but I'm pretty sure something else will "fall off" soon and I'll be back on the doctor route again. Oh well, when Obama gets the health care program in place, I won't ever have to see a doctor again --- we spend far too much money in this country on old people and their ailments-- and we've got to stop that!
Two famous (?) people died yesterday: Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. I wonder at all the publicity and hoopla we Americans give to our entertainment stars demise. It's all a part of our American culture, I guess. Nevertheless, I feel saddened at their deaths; I'm not sure either one had a really happy life.
I really like a lot of the "things" our world has for us these days, and one of the most satisfying to me is this computer where I can write, and write, and write, for my own pleasure; where I can use email and correspond with friends at a moment's notice; where I can find information about almost anything with just a tap of a key. The tech world is a mystery to me, but I love the benefits I get from my sparce knowledge.
Kevin and Kathryn will soon be off to college and they will be missed by us. I'm glad for their going, but I worry (like any responsible grandma should) about the challenges they will face. I know they will do well, but I sometimes feel by them as I felt, many times, for my own three children. I wanted to wrap my arms around them, hold them close to me, and keep the world at bay so they would never be hurt. But I had to let them go; that's one of the tough things a parent has to do.
Life is good. At 87, I rejoice in the life I have now, and thank God for His blessings.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A Book in May
I can't believe I haven't blogged in months. I am going to try and blog at least once each month whether I have much to say or not. So this one will be pretty short and simple. It is my analysis of a brief excerpt from the latest book I have read.
It is from Elizabeth George's newest book entitled Careless in Red, an Inspector Lynley murder mystery. The book is very well written and so densely packed both in plotting and characterizations that it takes time and intense concentration to "get" what is happening.
Here is one example of how she interweaves character,plot, philosophy, life meaning, together so perfectly that this short excerpt will almost surely speak to you, or to any reader.
The situation is that a young man is looking at his Father, an old man. The son, Ben, says:
"But the sight of his father had abruptly changed things for Ben. So old, he thought. So terribly old. Broken as well. He wondered how he had failed to understand till now that life had long ago defeated his father. He'd beaten his fists against it --his Father had--and refused to submit to its demands. These demands were for compromise and change: to take Life on Life's terms, which required the ability to switch courses when necessary, to modify behaviours, and to alter dreams so that they could meet the realities that they came up against. But he had never been able to do any of that, so he'd been crushed, and life had rolled over his shattered body."
If you think about this passage long enough, it will almost certainly resonate with you -- whoever you are, whatever your age, what your life is like now, what is may be in the future. It will probably stir up memories, dreams, losses, hopes, failures, sadness, joy.
And more than that: it may make you and me into more compassionate, caring, loving people as we deal with each other in intimate relationships and with a world that is desperately in need of love and understanding from us.
A good book makes you think, makes you feel, helps you to learn. Sometimes it can even change you in a significant way. Enjoy.
It is from Elizabeth George's newest book entitled Careless in Red, an Inspector Lynley murder mystery. The book is very well written and so densely packed both in plotting and characterizations that it takes time and intense concentration to "get" what is happening.
Here is one example of how she interweaves character,plot, philosophy, life meaning, together so perfectly that this short excerpt will almost surely speak to you, or to any reader.
The situation is that a young man is looking at his Father, an old man. The son, Ben, says:
"But the sight of his father had abruptly changed things for Ben. So old, he thought. So terribly old. Broken as well. He wondered how he had failed to understand till now that life had long ago defeated his father. He'd beaten his fists against it --his Father had--and refused to submit to its demands. These demands were for compromise and change: to take Life on Life's terms, which required the ability to switch courses when necessary, to modify behaviours, and to alter dreams so that they could meet the realities that they came up against. But he had never been able to do any of that, so he'd been crushed, and life had rolled over his shattered body."
If you think about this passage long enough, it will almost certainly resonate with you -- whoever you are, whatever your age, what your life is like now, what is may be in the future. It will probably stir up memories, dreams, losses, hopes, failures, sadness, joy.
And more than that: it may make you and me into more compassionate, caring, loving people as we deal with each other in intimate relationships and with a world that is desperately in need of love and understanding from us.
A good book makes you think, makes you feel, helps you to learn. Sometimes it can even change you in a significant way. Enjoy.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Time to Blog Again?
I'm not sure it's time to blog again, but that was the only title I could think of -- so much for my creativity.
I haven't been doing anything significant to be writing about, but I have been doing some thinking and feeling. Actually, the doing I do is so inconsequential and boring that no one would take time to read about it.
But, hey, the thinking and feeling --- that's something else!
So, I've been thinking about how Our Huge Fortune stashed in stocks and bonds has gone south in a big way. I don't even want to know the exact figures, but suffice it to say, we are a big percentage down from where we were in September of 2008. (If I could do the math, I'd tell you what that percentage is, but I don't do math ---I'm an English teacher)
Anyhow, the loss is pretty substantial, and my broker tells me that that amount really is gone-- despite the fact that I have sold nothing!! It just ain't there anymore. Now, what I'd like to do is find someone to blame for all this: I've thought about blaming Bush (but he doesn't care), about blaming Obama (but I don't fall under any of his guidelines to get a hand-out so why bother?), about blaming my three grown kids who are smart and should have warned their doddering old Mom, but they think I am an independent old cuss and wouldn't have paid any attention to them anyhow.
SO who am I to blame? MYSELF. That's it; that's where the buck stops; that's the way life is. And, you know what? I feel pretty good about that. Like Sinatra sings, "I did it my way." And as long as the aged brain continues to function, I will probably keep on doing it my way -- and having a great time and being wise enough to keep on taking the consequences, good or bad, that come along with my decisions.
What about feelings? I have had what we all have -- good ones and bad ones. For about a week after I changed our Tattered Fortune over from our old managment set up to a new management company, I had an absolutely terrifying number of nights when feelings of Fear, Worry, and Self-recrimination woke me up at 3 a.m. and kept me sleepless the rest of the night. It took time and several conferences with my new broker to toss those feelings into the ash heap.
But, ah, the good feelings came also.
I felt the genuine love and concern from new found friends. For no particular reason, LaRue called me to come by and visit with her and her Mom, Jane called and wanted to meet for coffee, I took an evening meal (bought from Krogers) to my newest friend, Gracie, who had knee surgery, several gals in the SS class mentioned how much they enjoyed my teaching when LaRue is gone.
And Mary Anne and Ben come by very often, and they are a delight. Mark has us over for coffee on Saturday, and we get to chat with Kim and Kat.
And so I'm feeling that life is sad and hard at times, but it is also very, very good at times.
Doing, thinking, feeling. Which one charms you the most?
I haven't been doing anything significant to be writing about, but I have been doing some thinking and feeling. Actually, the doing I do is so inconsequential and boring that no one would take time to read about it.
But, hey, the thinking and feeling --- that's something else!
So, I've been thinking about how Our Huge Fortune stashed in stocks and bonds has gone south in a big way. I don't even want to know the exact figures, but suffice it to say, we are a big percentage down from where we were in September of 2008. (If I could do the math, I'd tell you what that percentage is, but I don't do math ---I'm an English teacher)
Anyhow, the loss is pretty substantial, and my broker tells me that that amount really is gone-- despite the fact that I have sold nothing!! It just ain't there anymore. Now, what I'd like to do is find someone to blame for all this: I've thought about blaming Bush (but he doesn't care), about blaming Obama (but I don't fall under any of his guidelines to get a hand-out so why bother?), about blaming my three grown kids who are smart and should have warned their doddering old Mom, but they think I am an independent old cuss and wouldn't have paid any attention to them anyhow.
SO who am I to blame? MYSELF. That's it; that's where the buck stops; that's the way life is. And, you know what? I feel pretty good about that. Like Sinatra sings, "I did it my way." And as long as the aged brain continues to function, I will probably keep on doing it my way -- and having a great time and being wise enough to keep on taking the consequences, good or bad, that come along with my decisions.
What about feelings? I have had what we all have -- good ones and bad ones. For about a week after I changed our Tattered Fortune over from our old managment set up to a new management company, I had an absolutely terrifying number of nights when feelings of Fear, Worry, and Self-recrimination woke me up at 3 a.m. and kept me sleepless the rest of the night. It took time and several conferences with my new broker to toss those feelings into the ash heap.
But, ah, the good feelings came also.
I felt the genuine love and concern from new found friends. For no particular reason, LaRue called me to come by and visit with her and her Mom, Jane called and wanted to meet for coffee, I took an evening meal (bought from Krogers) to my newest friend, Gracie, who had knee surgery, several gals in the SS class mentioned how much they enjoyed my teaching when LaRue is gone.
And Mary Anne and Ben come by very often, and they are a delight. Mark has us over for coffee on Saturday, and we get to chat with Kim and Kat.
And so I'm feeling that life is sad and hard at times, but it is also very, very good at times.
Doing, thinking, feeling. Which one charms you the most?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
If You want to know, you had better ask now
That is a cryptic statement, but it occured to me the other day that it is an important statement which I probably should share with anyone who will listen.
How did this thought spring into the muddled musings of my aged brain? Well, my mind had slipped back into the days when I was 19 and living in Ft Worth during the early days of WW2. I was remembering the guys I had dated and what might have happened to them, and one young man in particular came into my mind.
I can't remember his name at all, but I had met him through my sister and an older lady whom my sister knew and ran around with some. My sister and this woman went to what we called "honkey-tonks" in those days (now called bars) with the men they happened to be dating at the time, and occasionally I would go "stag" with them.
ANyhow, one night the older lady brought her nephew along; he was 21 and very handsome and we started dating. And befoe long, he was sent overseas to Italy as a bombardier in a B17. He flew several missions and on one of them was shot down ------ and I couldn't remember what had happened to him. I was thinking that maybe he made it back home after the war, but I wasn't sure.
Now here is the point I'm trying (not very effectively) to make.
FOR JUST A NANOSECOND, I THOUGHT, "WELL, I'LL JUST CALL MY SISTER AND ASK HER!"
Now my sister has been dead for over thirteen years and I knew that! I was not going to be able to ask her anything about anybody and that knowledge brought tears to my eyes.
And there are a lot of things I wish I had asked her over the years. And I didn't. I'd like to know more about how my family lived before I was born, who my grandparents were, where did they come from, what life was really like during the Great Depression when I was just a child, how did they find strength to cope with what life threw at them while they were growing up.
Now I will never know.
So this truth: If you really want to know something, you had better ask now.
How did this thought spring into the muddled musings of my aged brain? Well, my mind had slipped back into the days when I was 19 and living in Ft Worth during the early days of WW2. I was remembering the guys I had dated and what might have happened to them, and one young man in particular came into my mind.
I can't remember his name at all, but I had met him through my sister and an older lady whom my sister knew and ran around with some. My sister and this woman went to what we called "honkey-tonks" in those days (now called bars) with the men they happened to be dating at the time, and occasionally I would go "stag" with them.
ANyhow, one night the older lady brought her nephew along; he was 21 and very handsome and we started dating. And befoe long, he was sent overseas to Italy as a bombardier in a B17. He flew several missions and on one of them was shot down ------ and I couldn't remember what had happened to him. I was thinking that maybe he made it back home after the war, but I wasn't sure.
Now here is the point I'm trying (not very effectively) to make.
FOR JUST A NANOSECOND, I THOUGHT, "WELL, I'LL JUST CALL MY SISTER AND ASK HER!"
Now my sister has been dead for over thirteen years and I knew that! I was not going to be able to ask her anything about anybody and that knowledge brought tears to my eyes.
And there are a lot of things I wish I had asked her over the years. And I didn't. I'd like to know more about how my family lived before I was born, who my grandparents were, where did they come from, what life was really like during the Great Depression when I was just a child, how did they find strength to cope with what life threw at them while they were growing up.
Now I will never know.
So this truth: If you really want to know something, you had better ask now.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
An Octogenarian Orgy
Ever wonder what really old people do to celebrate the coming in of a brand new year? Well, they have octogenarian orgies; that's what they do! We had one on New Year's Eve, 2008, at our humble abode in Grapevine.
Our friends, the Cleavers, came down from OKC on New Years Eve to help us celebrate. They arrived about 2 p.m. and we talked until about 5 p.m. about "the olden days", and all the fun we had as young people and young adults. Then Bill Cleaver(better known as B.C.) suggested to Bill Saunders (a.k.a.B.S.) that we have a glass of wine. Of Course, Jenny and I were all for that, but I reasoned with B.S. that he couldn't drink wine because he was on drugs!! He agreed; didn't want to get "too high" and spoil the party!!
After our glasses of wine, we (Jenny and I) agreed we needed to eat out, so as to make the evening more enjoyable. We did. Chose a rather grand dining place. i.e., Jason's Deli, where each couple ordered a soup and salad to split. I ate chili in lieu of soup; B.S. had the salad. B.C. had soup, Jenny ate his salad. Our tab was pretty formidable: 5 bucks for each couple!!!
Then back to 1517 Briarcrest where we regaled each other with marvelous tales of The Great Depression days, how we worked for a dollar a day, how we never dreamed, any of us, of attending college, how World War II changed everything, and how spectacular, remarkable, and absolutely unbelievable were the things we accomplished by pure luck, hard work, and gritty determination. B.C. got a medical degree, Jenny a college degree with music major; B.S. became a Preacher with an M.Div, and holy cow, I managed to end up with a Ph.D.in English.
We ate a snack about 10:30, drank coffee and/or cokes, talked some more, yawned a lot, and finally gave up and headed for the bed at 11:00 --- who cares about seeing a stupid ball fall in NYC???
Off to bed with the same guy/gal we had slept with for 50/60 years, still in love and still grateful for the happinesses we have shared as couples and as friends.
It don't get much better than that.
Octogenarian Orgies are fun. Hope you all live to celebrate your very own special one. In the meantime, Have a Happy New year in 2009.
Our friends, the Cleavers, came down from OKC on New Years Eve to help us celebrate. They arrived about 2 p.m. and we talked until about 5 p.m. about "the olden days", and all the fun we had as young people and young adults. Then Bill Cleaver(better known as B.C.) suggested to Bill Saunders (a.k.a.B.S.) that we have a glass of wine. Of Course, Jenny and I were all for that, but I reasoned with B.S. that he couldn't drink wine because he was on drugs!! He agreed; didn't want to get "too high" and spoil the party!!
After our glasses of wine, we (Jenny and I) agreed we needed to eat out, so as to make the evening more enjoyable. We did. Chose a rather grand dining place. i.e., Jason's Deli, where each couple ordered a soup and salad to split. I ate chili in lieu of soup; B.S. had the salad. B.C. had soup, Jenny ate his salad. Our tab was pretty formidable: 5 bucks for each couple!!!
Then back to 1517 Briarcrest where we regaled each other with marvelous tales of The Great Depression days, how we worked for a dollar a day, how we never dreamed, any of us, of attending college, how World War II changed everything, and how spectacular, remarkable, and absolutely unbelievable were the things we accomplished by pure luck, hard work, and gritty determination. B.C. got a medical degree, Jenny a college degree with music major; B.S. became a Preacher with an M.Div, and holy cow, I managed to end up with a Ph.D.in English.
We ate a snack about 10:30, drank coffee and/or cokes, talked some more, yawned a lot, and finally gave up and headed for the bed at 11:00 --- who cares about seeing a stupid ball fall in NYC???
Off to bed with the same guy/gal we had slept with for 50/60 years, still in love and still grateful for the happinesses we have shared as couples and as friends.
It don't get much better than that.
Octogenarian Orgies are fun. Hope you all live to celebrate your very own special one. In the meantime, Have a Happy New year in 2009.
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