We are back in Grapevine after a marvelous 5 weeks with Alice Lynn and family in BHam. So much fun being with the kids who are rapidly growing into teenage-adults. If Bill and I haven't accomplished much of anything else, we sure enough done good with having 3 children who have managed to become pretty marvelous adults --- and have given us 7 Practically Perfect Grandchildren!!
The plane trip home was a good one -- pleasant people helped us get on the plane, the air was smooth and the flight was fast. It was good to see Mary Anne waiting at the luggage place for us.
Good news on the dog scene. I had Barney overnight and got to love on him a lot; let him sleep with me, and we got up together to go potty. He is such a sweet, cute dog, and he will forever be my First Love. But then this darling little girl Shih Tsu has become our new pet. She is white with brown spots, beautiful brown eyes, and loves to cuddle like a baby!!!
We got her from a Vet whose wife is a student of Mary Anne's. And I am sure I will be in love with her also. It may seem stupid for me to take on one more responsibility, but, hey, what can I say?
I can't come up with a name for her - yet. Any suggestions? Yeah, Mark, I plan to make her second name Bruno. Something like Daisy Bruno?? or Carly Bruno? 'Course I will call her Daisy B.., or Carly B. or Whatever B., doncha know????
The wild presidential election is over and I am glad. I am also optimistic that President Obama will do well. I will pray for him as he assumes an awe-full responsibility to lead our country toward healing and health in so many troubling areas.
I hope to do some more writing for my own pleasure. I love the shape, form, sound, sense, intelligence, of WORDS, and I love trying to use them to express my thoughts, dreams, memories, hopes, and faith. One of the most profound statements about the power of the Word is found in John's gospel -- "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." --- and then the greatest miracle of all: "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us."
Goodnight and God bless!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Now Hear This
The buzz word for what is happening now seems to be "change." We hear it in differing forms: "We can change," "We will change," "Change is now." And since everyone in the USof A is urged to follow blithely down the road of "Change," I would like to make a few suggestions of change that I would especially like to find in the life of one Voter (me) whose vote is supposed to count for everything, and which I think did count in our recent presidential election.
I voted. I expressed my choice for President. And now we have a New President and a New Congress, and these are the things I would like to see changed by them -- in my lifetime -- in my lifestyle--- in my finances -- and right now!!!
And be clear about this: I want all these things in MY LIFE, which means I'm not really very concerned about YOUR Life, which sounds very self-serving and egocentric, and to be honest, that is what it is!!!
1. I want peace in this world, beginning here in America, extending to Iraq, where I want peace to prevail and I want it RIGHT NOW. That means to pull our soldiers , who have been bleeding and dying in Iraq for 6 years, back to USA so they can become part of the diminishing armed forces that need to be cut in order for more important programs to be financed by our government. We really do need to take care of the conservation of the Great White Hoot Owl in Governor Palin's North Western Part of Alaska. You know, that area that is just "right over there" from Russia. Think of the great impact that kind of compassion will have on our relations with Putin and Mother Russia! They will truly love us for it!! There will be no further need for our President to have to sit down with Putin and talk about how much he admires the Russian ethic of hard work on nuclear plants, and how much we Americans want to be "their buddies."
2. And since I am one of the many Americans who make less than $250,000 a year, I want my taxes cut --- or better still -- I want them eliminated completely. I'm not concerned about capital gains tax cuts , since I don't make enough money to worry about that. All I have to pay is income tax, sales tax, death tax, cigarette and booze tax, school tax, police and firemen's tax, trash hauling tax, gasoline tax, repairmen's tax, utilities tax, cable tax, telephone tax, dental and doctor's tax (so they can make a decent living), and church tax (we call that "tithing.") I'm sure there are some hidden taxes that I'm not even aware of, but the federal government will surely take care of those for me so I can be a happy and contented, and my psyche will be in such good shape that I won't be critical of anything or anyone! That means there will be no flack from me directed at our Leaders In Washington!!! No sir-eee---not from me.
Please start with removing my income tax. After all, my husband and I both worked for sixty years, saved, scrimped, did without, and paid taxes faithfully into Social Security in order to have a really splendid income of $7,000 a month (because we funded an IRA and a Savings Account in addition to SS taxes). We managed to buy and pay for a home and two cars on the way, and didn't accumulate anything on our credit cards that could not be paid off at the end of the month. Sounds peachy, doesn't it???? BUT we still have $600.00 a month drawn out of our retirement account (which goes to the Government's Coffer) so that we will not have to borrow money to pay our income tax at the end of the year.
And so, if you eliminate THAT income tax, I promise I will spend the $600.00 each month and thereby guarantee that the economy will get such a boost that our financial quandary will be solved. Oh, by the way, since it is MY money to spend, I will send $300.00 to my M.D. nephew in China so he can minister to sick and dying Chinese and whisper to them the gospel hope of life eternal; I will increase my gift to World Missions to $200.00 to support another young person in Africa so that now TWO people will have a chance at life. That leaves me a hundred bucks to waste on books, movies, gifts to grandchildren, and a special box of chocolates for JUST ME. I hope this wild and carefree spending on my part will satisfy the idealogues who are so anxious to bail out all our financial establishments who have been led down the path of bankruptcy by corruption, greed, and irresponsibility.
3. And while we are talking, in addition to cutting taxes for me, please let the government take immediate action to CUT the cost of living expenses drastically. That means cut the cost of groceries, clothing, medicine, gasoline, doctor's and dentist bills, repair for cars, houses, lawns, insurance, new TVs, and Miscellaneous Things (anything that I have to pay for that I haven't mentioned will fall under this umbrella.)
4. I think that is about all I need right now. But be sure, if other needs arise, I will look to YOU, The Federal Government, to come to my rescue. I don't want to be coy, but "You promised, you promised. ' Remember? Remember?
5. Now, you (the Government: President, Congress, et. al) have my blessing! Do anything you want to do to make our country great, rich, powerful, and pleasing to the rest of the world. I'm all for it; I'm right behind you!!
What was that? What did you say? How will all of this be paid for? Oh, that's so simple. NAIL THE RICH FOLKS!!! Call on Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, all the rich CEOs and NFL Football players, and particularly the Movie Stars, and anyone else that makes over $250,000 a year. Let 'em keep their $250,000 and "eat cake." Worked in France, so why not here.
P.S. I'm not available for any Cabinet Post, any Departmental Position in D.C. I've got more important things to do: like sitting in my lounging chair and reading books --- and eating my box of chocolates.
I voted. I expressed my choice for President. And now we have a New President and a New Congress, and these are the things I would like to see changed by them -- in my lifetime -- in my lifestyle--- in my finances -- and right now!!!
And be clear about this: I want all these things in MY LIFE, which means I'm not really very concerned about YOUR Life, which sounds very self-serving and egocentric, and to be honest, that is what it is!!!
1. I want peace in this world, beginning here in America, extending to Iraq, where I want peace to prevail and I want it RIGHT NOW. That means to pull our soldiers , who have been bleeding and dying in Iraq for 6 years, back to USA so they can become part of the diminishing armed forces that need to be cut in order for more important programs to be financed by our government. We really do need to take care of the conservation of the Great White Hoot Owl in Governor Palin's North Western Part of Alaska. You know, that area that is just "right over there" from Russia. Think of the great impact that kind of compassion will have on our relations with Putin and Mother Russia! They will truly love us for it!! There will be no further need for our President to have to sit down with Putin and talk about how much he admires the Russian ethic of hard work on nuclear plants, and how much we Americans want to be "their buddies."
2. And since I am one of the many Americans who make less than $250,000 a year, I want my taxes cut --- or better still -- I want them eliminated completely. I'm not concerned about capital gains tax cuts , since I don't make enough money to worry about that. All I have to pay is income tax, sales tax, death tax, cigarette and booze tax, school tax, police and firemen's tax, trash hauling tax, gasoline tax, repairmen's tax, utilities tax, cable tax, telephone tax, dental and doctor's tax (so they can make a decent living), and church tax (we call that "tithing.") I'm sure there are some hidden taxes that I'm not even aware of, but the federal government will surely take care of those for me so I can be a happy and contented, and my psyche will be in such good shape that I won't be critical of anything or anyone! That means there will be no flack from me directed at our Leaders In Washington!!! No sir-eee---not from me.
Please start with removing my income tax. After all, my husband and I both worked for sixty years, saved, scrimped, did without, and paid taxes faithfully into Social Security in order to have a really splendid income of $7,000 a month (because we funded an IRA and a Savings Account in addition to SS taxes). We managed to buy and pay for a home and two cars on the way, and didn't accumulate anything on our credit cards that could not be paid off at the end of the month. Sounds peachy, doesn't it???? BUT we still have $600.00 a month drawn out of our retirement account (which goes to the Government's Coffer) so that we will not have to borrow money to pay our income tax at the end of the year.
And so, if you eliminate THAT income tax, I promise I will spend the $600.00 each month and thereby guarantee that the economy will get such a boost that our financial quandary will be solved. Oh, by the way, since it is MY money to spend, I will send $300.00 to my M.D. nephew in China so he can minister to sick and dying Chinese and whisper to them the gospel hope of life eternal; I will increase my gift to World Missions to $200.00 to support another young person in Africa so that now TWO people will have a chance at life. That leaves me a hundred bucks to waste on books, movies, gifts to grandchildren, and a special box of chocolates for JUST ME. I hope this wild and carefree spending on my part will satisfy the idealogues who are so anxious to bail out all our financial establishments who have been led down the path of bankruptcy by corruption, greed, and irresponsibility.
3. And while we are talking, in addition to cutting taxes for me, please let the government take immediate action to CUT the cost of living expenses drastically. That means cut the cost of groceries, clothing, medicine, gasoline, doctor's and dentist bills, repair for cars, houses, lawns, insurance, new TVs, and Miscellaneous Things (anything that I have to pay for that I haven't mentioned will fall under this umbrella.)
4. I think that is about all I need right now. But be sure, if other needs arise, I will look to YOU, The Federal Government, to come to my rescue. I don't want to be coy, but "You promised, you promised. ' Remember? Remember?
5. Now, you (the Government: President, Congress, et. al) have my blessing! Do anything you want to do to make our country great, rich, powerful, and pleasing to the rest of the world. I'm all for it; I'm right behind you!!
What was that? What did you say? How will all of this be paid for? Oh, that's so simple. NAIL THE RICH FOLKS!!! Call on Warren Buffett, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, all the rich CEOs and NFL Football players, and particularly the Movie Stars, and anyone else that makes over $250,000 a year. Let 'em keep their $250,000 and "eat cake." Worked in France, so why not here.
P.S. I'm not available for any Cabinet Post, any Departmental Position in D.C. I've got more important things to do: like sitting in my lounging chair and reading books --- and eating my box of chocolates.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Idiosyncratic Antics of Aged People
Know any Aged Persons who sometimes DO or SAY strange things? You've probably wondered where All That is coming from? Well, it's because a special, peculiar idiosyncrasy just kicked in and they do anything but respond to that peculiar THING; They just can't help themselves!! So it's no good to look at them censoriously or embarrasedly or aghastly -- just go with the flow.
To help you understand what some of these idiosyncrasies are and how they play out in real life here 1s a partial list of them:
1. They are subject to a sudden change in health.
Your Mom wakes up at 5 a.m., calls and says "I hurt all over; I think I am dying, the Good Lord is about to call me home."
You rush over, try to do something, but she prefers just to "lie here a little while" and do nothing.
You happen to see her drive by your house about noon. Call frantically on the cell phone. She says, "Oh, I feel great; Mildred called for me to meet her at lunch."
2. They are subject to a sudden change in mood.
You stop by and your Mom is huddled in an old robe in a fetal position on the couch with all the lights turned off. "What's wrong, Mom?" "I'm having a nervous breakdown; there's no hope for me." You can't give her an electric shock treatment as you would like to, so you go home, worried and upset.
You call at noon. She says brightly, "I'm going to play tennis, my pal the Aged Doctor just called." She giggles like a teenager.
3. Aged People also LIE (fib, prevaricate,stretch-the-truth) A LOT.
A. To their Doctor. "No, I don't have any chest pains,(no open heart surgery for me! No, nothing is changed with my eating habits (No colonoscopy in the offing) ), No, I don't have any trouble breathing, either (No MRI for me.)
"Why am I in your office?" "I've got a little itch in an embarrassing place, Doctor, that's all."
B. To their Opthalmologist. "Yes, I know I have a cataract, but with these new glasses I see quite well." (Nobody is going to poke AROUND in my eyeball if I can help it.)
C. To their Financial Advisor. "No, I don't have a budget; that indicates that you are too concerned about money, and I just trust the Lord to take care of me.
D. To their children. "I understand what you are doing, and it is all right." "Yes, your children are well mannered, well disciplined, really good kids." "No, it really doesn't matter how you spend your money, or if you save any at all." "Yes, I know you are a Baby Boomer and your Group is going to rule the world much better than us WW2 old mossbacks."
E. To their grandchildren. "Yes, I really like the large brass ring in your nose; it sets you off from everybody else." "Yes, your long purple hair is provocative -- in a nice way." "I understand that you are smarter than anyone else in the world --particularly smarter than your parents, or your doddering old grandparents."
F. To their own friends. "I don't feel a day over sixty."
"My children are so concerned about my welfare; I can hardly get away from them." "Oh, we still do a LOT OF THINGS together. "Yes, we are still madly in love; he/she is so thoughtful about anniversary/birthday/other important events." "Of course NOT, I would never think of leaving him/her."
Aged People are also prone to strange physical idiosyncrises:
1. They don't walk. They wobble, stagger, weave back and forth, take tiny, tiny scooting steps, step high when they are going down, step low when they are heading up.
2. They can't talk very well. Their voices are cracked, they mumble, they can't remember simple words, and if they try to sing, it's a disaster beyond belief.
3. They fall asleep at unexpected times --- like when you are talking to them. Or they stay awake all night, remembering things they did 50 years ago.
4. They don't really like to eat much anymore. Probably because everything tastes mostly like buttered cardboard, or looks like squishy goop.
5. They can't drink anyhing alcoholic because --- they already wobble, stagger, weave, etc.etc.
So what is one to do with AGED PERSONS? How about just loving them, crazy as they are; laughing with them, not at them; seeing something spiritual in them and celebrating that.
Life is mostly good, mostly fun, mostly happy, mostly challenging, mostly rewarding. Enjoy it because one day you, too, will be an AGED PERSON, and ------------------------------.
To help you understand what some of these idiosyncrasies are and how they play out in real life here 1s a partial list of them:
1. They are subject to a sudden change in health.
Your Mom wakes up at 5 a.m., calls and says "I hurt all over; I think I am dying, the Good Lord is about to call me home."
You rush over, try to do something, but she prefers just to "lie here a little while" and do nothing.
You happen to see her drive by your house about noon. Call frantically on the cell phone. She says, "Oh, I feel great; Mildred called for me to meet her at lunch."
2. They are subject to a sudden change in mood.
You stop by and your Mom is huddled in an old robe in a fetal position on the couch with all the lights turned off. "What's wrong, Mom?" "I'm having a nervous breakdown; there's no hope for me." You can't give her an electric shock treatment as you would like to, so you go home, worried and upset.
You call at noon. She says brightly, "I'm going to play tennis, my pal the Aged Doctor just called." She giggles like a teenager.
3. Aged People also LIE (fib, prevaricate,stretch-the-truth) A LOT.
A. To their Doctor. "No, I don't have any chest pains,(no open heart surgery for me! No, nothing is changed with my eating habits (No colonoscopy in the offing) ), No, I don't have any trouble breathing, either (No MRI for me.)
"Why am I in your office?" "I've got a little itch in an embarrassing place, Doctor, that's all."
B. To their Opthalmologist. "Yes, I know I have a cataract, but with these new glasses I see quite well." (Nobody is going to poke AROUND in my eyeball if I can help it.)
C. To their Financial Advisor. "No, I don't have a budget; that indicates that you are too concerned about money, and I just trust the Lord to take care of me.
D. To their children. "I understand what you are doing, and it is all right." "Yes, your children are well mannered, well disciplined, really good kids." "No, it really doesn't matter how you spend your money, or if you save any at all." "Yes, I know you are a Baby Boomer and your Group is going to rule the world much better than us WW2 old mossbacks."
E. To their grandchildren. "Yes, I really like the large brass ring in your nose; it sets you off from everybody else." "Yes, your long purple hair is provocative -- in a nice way." "I understand that you are smarter than anyone else in the world --particularly smarter than your parents, or your doddering old grandparents."
F. To their own friends. "I don't feel a day over sixty."
"My children are so concerned about my welfare; I can hardly get away from them." "Oh, we still do a LOT OF THINGS together. "Yes, we are still madly in love; he/she is so thoughtful about anniversary/birthday/other important events." "Of course NOT, I would never think of leaving him/her."
Aged People are also prone to strange physical idiosyncrises:
1. They don't walk. They wobble, stagger, weave back and forth, take tiny, tiny scooting steps, step high when they are going down, step low when they are heading up.
2. They can't talk very well. Their voices are cracked, they mumble, they can't remember simple words, and if they try to sing, it's a disaster beyond belief.
3. They fall asleep at unexpected times --- like when you are talking to them. Or they stay awake all night, remembering things they did 50 years ago.
4. They don't really like to eat much anymore. Probably because everything tastes mostly like buttered cardboard, or looks like squishy goop.
5. They can't drink anyhing alcoholic because --- they already wobble, stagger, weave, etc.etc.
So what is one to do with AGED PERSONS? How about just loving them, crazy as they are; laughing with them, not at them; seeing something spiritual in them and celebrating that.
Life is mostly good, mostly fun, mostly happy, mostly challenging, mostly rewarding. Enjoy it because one day you, too, will be an AGED PERSON, and ------------------------------.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Who's Minding the Store?
I decided I'd better get another blog in or my mind will deteriorate from old age and I won't be able to compose anything of any value -- that is, if I ever do!
With all the excitement of the stock market plunge and the attendant inability of Congress to put together some kind of relief package, I guess my question is "Who's minding the store?" I know this is a very unusual event happening in our country, but, My Gawd, aren't there any intelligent and willing people in our whole country to try and help with the problem? I donno.
I'm sure not happy with all that is happening to our tax money (and our small Smith-Barney account) but I can't get too upset about the whole thing. The Republic has withstood some terrible things in the past, and has survived and I think we will eventually get through this mess.
One advantage that an old person like me (and Bill) is that we have lived through a depression, several wars, social revolutions like the Hippy Movement, the freeing of women from old stereotypes, the acceptance of our black society as a part of our great society, along with the gradual slippy slide downward in our moral standards. Surely, after all that time and experience, we should have some wisdom accumulated from the ride.
Problem is -- who cares?
On to more mundane things: We are so excited about getting another trip to Birmingham next week. We so enjoy being with the Elgins, especially Alex, Alaina, Olivia and Curry. The rejuvenate us with their liveliness, their enthusiasm, their love. It's really great being a grandparent!
And when we get back to Grapevine, one of my first jobs is to find us another Barney to keep us company. WE both have missed that silly little dog romping around and demanding attention. So Mary Anne will have her hands full taking me to kennels to find just the right dog for us!!!
One other thing: I have so appreciated how the SS class at our church has taken us in and become our friends. Honestly, these folks are so great that missing our friends at OKC has faded into the background. It's amazing how the tie of Christian faith binds people together so quickly and so lovingly.
We are getting a land phone on Monday so that Bill will have a quick connection to keep up with me. He has trouble handling the cell phone with its tiny details and this will make him feel more secure if he can check on me by phone whenever he wants to. And it's great fun that I can be out flitting around and not having to worry about getting home at any specific time.
JUST IN CASE YOU ALL HAVEN'T NOTICED ----- Your Mom, Grandma, (whatever) is pretty much a Free Spirit these days, and having a grand time being one. After one is 84 years old (M.C. age) why not do whatever the heck -one wants to do???
(M.C. age - Grandma's age determined by Marie/Curry calculation)
Enough! Peace and Love.
With all the excitement of the stock market plunge and the attendant inability of Congress to put together some kind of relief package, I guess my question is "Who's minding the store?" I know this is a very unusual event happening in our country, but, My Gawd, aren't there any intelligent and willing people in our whole country to try and help with the problem? I donno.
I'm sure not happy with all that is happening to our tax money (and our small Smith-Barney account) but I can't get too upset about the whole thing. The Republic has withstood some terrible things in the past, and has survived and I think we will eventually get through this mess.
One advantage that an old person like me (and Bill) is that we have lived through a depression, several wars, social revolutions like the Hippy Movement, the freeing of women from old stereotypes, the acceptance of our black society as a part of our great society, along with the gradual slippy slide downward in our moral standards. Surely, after all that time and experience, we should have some wisdom accumulated from the ride.
Problem is -- who cares?
On to more mundane things: We are so excited about getting another trip to Birmingham next week. We so enjoy being with the Elgins, especially Alex, Alaina, Olivia and Curry. The rejuvenate us with their liveliness, their enthusiasm, their love. It's really great being a grandparent!
And when we get back to Grapevine, one of my first jobs is to find us another Barney to keep us company. WE both have missed that silly little dog romping around and demanding attention. So Mary Anne will have her hands full taking me to kennels to find just the right dog for us!!!
One other thing: I have so appreciated how the SS class at our church has taken us in and become our friends. Honestly, these folks are so great that missing our friends at OKC has faded into the background. It's amazing how the tie of Christian faith binds people together so quickly and so lovingly.
We are getting a land phone on Monday so that Bill will have a quick connection to keep up with me. He has trouble handling the cell phone with its tiny details and this will make him feel more secure if he can check on me by phone whenever he wants to. And it's great fun that I can be out flitting around and not having to worry about getting home at any specific time.
JUST IN CASE YOU ALL HAVEN'T NOTICED ----- Your Mom, Grandma, (whatever) is pretty much a Free Spirit these days, and having a grand time being one. After one is 84 years old (M.C. age) why not do whatever the heck -one wants to do???
(M.C. age - Grandma's age determined by Marie/Curry calculation)
Enough! Peace and Love.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Is It Too Much To Ask?
This has been a puzzling and thought-provoking day for me. We had coffee with Mark and Kim this morning, and that was fun and pleasant, as it always is. But this afternoon, for some peculiar reason, a foolish phrase has been running through my mind. (Nothing to do with the morning coffee chatter, honestly.)
And I feel impelled to write about it; I can't get it out of my mind.
Here is the phrase, "Is it too much to ask ..........? To ask whom? Well, just to get the discussion going, put in "the Fates," "the quirky gods of the universe," "blind Chance," the One True God, or anyone or anything else that we poor human beings think is in control of human affairs.
Got that? Now, let's complete the phrase with some grand hypothetical questions. Such as, "is it too much to ask
that starving children in Africa might somehow be fed? Is it too much to ask that a friend painfully dying with terminal cancer be released from agony? Is it too much to ask that a hearbroken parent might find some kind of comfort when he/she can do nothing to stop a child from destruction?
Are these grandiose questions too heavy? Then how about some simple ones?
Is it too much to ask that a frightened child might find comfort in the arms of a sensitive parent?
Is it too much to ask that a middle-aged Mom might find assurance in her heart that all will be well with her teenager?
Is it too much to ask that an Aged Person might feel compassionate love from unexpected sources?
Is it too much to ask that Someone might find unusual kindness from just an acquaintance or friend?
If you happen to be a pessimist or a melancholy person (as I sometimes am) you would answer "Yes, it is too much to ask. Life is not going to give you reasonable answers to these questions that crowd uncomfortably in your heart.
If you are an optimist or a person of faith (as I sometimes am), you would answer, "No, it is not too much to ask," and I will patiently wait for some kind of reasonable response from somewhere in the universe that will give me hope.
Well, that's the phrase that has been bedeviling my thoughts all day. And do you want to know the cause for this quandary, this morass of twisted thinking, this philosophical mismash of nonsensical questions?
Here it is: "Is it too much to ask that an eighty-six year old woman might have a small, frisky, and hellish little dog to keep and love and fret over?"
And the answer is, "Yes, it is too much to ask."
And I am sad. And I am lonely. And I don't understand.
And I feel impelled to write about it; I can't get it out of my mind.
Here is the phrase, "Is it too much to ask ..........? To ask whom? Well, just to get the discussion going, put in "the Fates," "the quirky gods of the universe," "blind Chance," the One True God, or anyone or anything else that we poor human beings think is in control of human affairs.
Got that? Now, let's complete the phrase with some grand hypothetical questions. Such as, "is it too much to ask
that starving children in Africa might somehow be fed? Is it too much to ask that a friend painfully dying with terminal cancer be released from agony? Is it too much to ask that a hearbroken parent might find some kind of comfort when he/she can do nothing to stop a child from destruction?
Are these grandiose questions too heavy? Then how about some simple ones?
Is it too much to ask that a frightened child might find comfort in the arms of a sensitive parent?
Is it too much to ask that a middle-aged Mom might find assurance in her heart that all will be well with her teenager?
Is it too much to ask that an Aged Person might feel compassionate love from unexpected sources?
Is it too much to ask that Someone might find unusual kindness from just an acquaintance or friend?
If you happen to be a pessimist or a melancholy person (as I sometimes am) you would answer "Yes, it is too much to ask. Life is not going to give you reasonable answers to these questions that crowd uncomfortably in your heart.
If you are an optimist or a person of faith (as I sometimes am), you would answer, "No, it is not too much to ask," and I will patiently wait for some kind of reasonable response from somewhere in the universe that will give me hope.
Well, that's the phrase that has been bedeviling my thoughts all day. And do you want to know the cause for this quandary, this morass of twisted thinking, this philosophical mismash of nonsensical questions?
Here it is: "Is it too much to ask that an eighty-six year old woman might have a small, frisky, and hellish little dog to keep and love and fret over?"
And the answer is, "Yes, it is too much to ask."
And I am sad. And I am lonely. And I don't understand.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Giving Up Barney
I'm having a terrible time giving up our dog, Barney. And I thought writing about it might help, but I don't know.
Mark got a home for him this morning, very quickly, and at first I was elated because it sound like he has a great home and will be happy there, and all the problems we were having with him will be gone.
But I have spent most of the afternoon crying about what has happened. We got the little stinker when he was a puppy and i went through all that agonizing time of trying to teach him to poop and pee outside, and then trying to fit him into our routine so that he would be our pet, and during the process I fell in love with him.
And now he is gone, and I am very sad.
I know that he had to go. We couldn't handle him so that he would not bite Bill and that was too dangerous and too devastating for Bill to handle. And I was nervous as a cat, trying to intervene and keep Barney away from Bill. So I know intellectually that all that has happened was for our good and ultimately, I hope, for Barney's good. I know that, but my emotions don't seem to jibe with my intellect, and so this sadness grips me.
I will get over the loss, I guess, and life will go on. But I have a lump in my throat still, and I don't know when it will go away permanently.
I realize that Barney is just a dog, and that he will be fine with other people who will fall in love with him as I did.
But right now, there is an ache in my heart, and a loneliness for something that was and now is no more.
I have no philosophical explanation that will help, no intellectualism that will lessen the sadness, no insight that will make things better, only a dull sense of despair and unexplainable ennui.
And I am sad.
Life is what it is, and sometimes it is . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Mark got a home for him this morning, very quickly, and at first I was elated because it sound like he has a great home and will be happy there, and all the problems we were having with him will be gone.
But I have spent most of the afternoon crying about what has happened. We got the little stinker when he was a puppy and i went through all that agonizing time of trying to teach him to poop and pee outside, and then trying to fit him into our routine so that he would be our pet, and during the process I fell in love with him.
And now he is gone, and I am very sad.
I know that he had to go. We couldn't handle him so that he would not bite Bill and that was too dangerous and too devastating for Bill to handle. And I was nervous as a cat, trying to intervene and keep Barney away from Bill. So I know intellectually that all that has happened was for our good and ultimately, I hope, for Barney's good. I know that, but my emotions don't seem to jibe with my intellect, and so this sadness grips me.
I will get over the loss, I guess, and life will go on. But I have a lump in my throat still, and I don't know when it will go away permanently.
I realize that Barney is just a dog, and that he will be fine with other people who will fall in love with him as I did.
But right now, there is an ache in my heart, and a loneliness for something that was and now is no more.
I have no philosophical explanation that will help, no intellectualism that will lessen the sadness, no insight that will make things better, only a dull sense of despair and unexplainable ennui.
And I am sad.
Life is what it is, and sometimes it is . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Keeping Up Appearances
I couldn't think of a good title so I just put "Keeping Up Appearances" because it happens to be one of my favorite British TV shows which I only see occasionally because it comes on at 10:30 on Sunday nights! It is hillarious, and worth staying up to see, but sometimes I don't have the energy to keep my eyes open that late.
So what's happening and how am I keeping up appearances? Not much happening here (favorite quote from my son) but the beat goes on, and I do very ordinary things most of the time. I push myself out the door at least 4 times a week to walk, so that my old bones won't freeze up on me, and that's pretty routine.
I push Bill out the door to get coffee and a sweet roll almost daily because if I don't push he would sleep the rest of his life away. And I enjoy his company. I do all the talking and he nods occasionally to urge me on, and I rail on about whatever is in my emotional agenda to talk about on that particular day.
I've found out that when you are eighty-ish, the hot weather is just about as debilitating and dangerous as if you were in frigid Alaska with temps 50 below zero. When I get inside from doing errands in 100 degree weather, I am panting; my head is kinda dizzy; my legs feel like lead, and all my energy has run out through my toes. So I"m looking forward to the fall weather which is usually invigorating.
I'm subbing at SS at FBC these days for various people. LaRue got my name on the list, and the phone rings a lot. Today I taught the group that is designated "the ladies whose next promotion will be to heaven." They are that old!!! But they were all still alert, still willing to listen, and anxious to add their bits of wisdom to the group. It was kinda fun -- but I don't want any permanent teaching slot -- too much responsibility and hard work.
I find that I am more peaceful and content these days. Don't know exactly why. But when I start to worry about something, or someone, I just have a feeling come over me that worrying is pretty useless and that the people I worry about (my children (old as they are), my grandchildren (who are not my responsibility), and my husband (who is his own person and has to walk his own path), friends (whom I love) who need for me to listen. I usually just voice a short prayer for them, and go on my merry way.
Maybe that's a bit of wisdom I have learned as I get older, and older, and older.
Jesus taught us not to worry, and that we should take life as it comes and trust in Him for what we need. I'm beginning (at this late age) to actually attempt to do that!
Other writers have looked for answers to the questions we have about life and its meaning, and come to some conclusions which may give us some comfort. The atheist Voltaire said, through one of his characters, that the best we can do is "to plant and tend to our own gardens." Which, it seems to me is good advice.
T.S. Eliot said in "The Waste Land" that for some of us it seems like "we have measured out our lives with coffeespoons," suggesting that for the modern man his life may seem inconsequential and meaningless.
And his conclusion (my interpretation only) is a question: "Shall I at least set my lands in order?", suggesting that perhaps that is the best we as humans can do. Or as he further puts it, "These fragments I have shored against my ruins."
You knew I'd get off into literature or philosophy or something else, didn't you?? Well, I find that that happens to me when I start writng and maybe write too long!
But nobody ever died from thinking too much, did they??? I don't know.
So what's happening and how am I keeping up appearances? Not much happening here (favorite quote from my son) but the beat goes on, and I do very ordinary things most of the time. I push myself out the door at least 4 times a week to walk, so that my old bones won't freeze up on me, and that's pretty routine.
I push Bill out the door to get coffee and a sweet roll almost daily because if I don't push he would sleep the rest of his life away. And I enjoy his company. I do all the talking and he nods occasionally to urge me on, and I rail on about whatever is in my emotional agenda to talk about on that particular day.
I've found out that when you are eighty-ish, the hot weather is just about as debilitating and dangerous as if you were in frigid Alaska with temps 50 below zero. When I get inside from doing errands in 100 degree weather, I am panting; my head is kinda dizzy; my legs feel like lead, and all my energy has run out through my toes. So I"m looking forward to the fall weather which is usually invigorating.
I'm subbing at SS at FBC these days for various people. LaRue got my name on the list, and the phone rings a lot. Today I taught the group that is designated "the ladies whose next promotion will be to heaven." They are that old!!! But they were all still alert, still willing to listen, and anxious to add their bits of wisdom to the group. It was kinda fun -- but I don't want any permanent teaching slot -- too much responsibility and hard work.
I find that I am more peaceful and content these days. Don't know exactly why. But when I start to worry about something, or someone, I just have a feeling come over me that worrying is pretty useless and that the people I worry about (my children (old as they are), my grandchildren (who are not my responsibility), and my husband (who is his own person and has to walk his own path), friends (whom I love) who need for me to listen. I usually just voice a short prayer for them, and go on my merry way.
Maybe that's a bit of wisdom I have learned as I get older, and older, and older.
Jesus taught us not to worry, and that we should take life as it comes and trust in Him for what we need. I'm beginning (at this late age) to actually attempt to do that!
Other writers have looked for answers to the questions we have about life and its meaning, and come to some conclusions which may give us some comfort. The atheist Voltaire said, through one of his characters, that the best we can do is "to plant and tend to our own gardens." Which, it seems to me is good advice.
T.S. Eliot said in "The Waste Land" that for some of us it seems like "we have measured out our lives with coffeespoons," suggesting that for the modern man his life may seem inconsequential and meaningless.
And his conclusion (my interpretation only) is a question: "Shall I at least set my lands in order?", suggesting that perhaps that is the best we as humans can do. Or as he further puts it, "These fragments I have shored against my ruins."
You knew I'd get off into literature or philosophy or something else, didn't you?? Well, I find that that happens to me when I start writng and maybe write too long!
But nobody ever died from thinking too much, did they??? I don't know.
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