Idiosyncratic Antics of Aged People

Know any Aged Persons who sometimes DO or SAY strange things? You've probably wondered where All That is coming from? Well, it's because a special, peculiar idiosyncrasy just kicked in and they do anything but respond to that peculiar THING; They just can't help themselves!! So it's no good to look at them censoriously or embarrasedly or aghastly -- just go with the flow.

To help you understand what some of these idiosyncrasies are and how they play out in real life here 1s a partial list of them:


1. They are subject to a sudden change in health.
Your Mom wakes up at 5 a.m., calls and says "I hurt all over; I think I am dying, the Good Lord is about to call me home."
You rush over, try to do something, but she prefers just to "lie here a little while" and do nothing.
You happen to see her drive by your house about noon. Call frantically on the cell phone. She says, "Oh, I feel great; Mildred called for me to meet her at lunch."

2. They are subject to a sudden change in mood.
You stop by and your Mom is huddled in an old robe in a fetal position on the couch with all the lights turned off. "What's wrong, Mom?" "I'm having a nervous breakdown; there's no hope for me." You can't give her an electric shock treatment as you would like to, so you go home, worried and upset.
You call at noon. She says brightly, "I'm going to play tennis, my pal the Aged Doctor just called." She giggles like a teenager.

3. Aged People also LIE (fib, prevaricate,stretch-the-truth) A LOT.
A. To their Doctor. "No, I don't have any chest pains,(no open heart surgery for me! No, nothing is changed with my eating habits (No colonoscopy in the offing) ), No, I don't have any trouble breathing, either (No MRI for me.)
"Why am I in your office?" "I've got a little itch in an embarrassing place, Doctor, that's all."

B. To their Opthalmologist. "Yes, I know I have a cataract, but with these new glasses I see quite well." (Nobody is going to poke AROUND in my eyeball if I can help it.)

C. To their Financial Advisor. "No, I don't have a budget; that indicates that you are too concerned about money, and I just trust the Lord to take care of me.

D. To their children. "I understand what you are doing, and it is all right." "Yes, your children are well mannered, well disciplined, really good kids." "No, it really doesn't matter how you spend your money, or if you save any at all." "Yes, I know you are a Baby Boomer and your Group is going to rule the world much better than us WW2 old mossbacks."

E. To their grandchildren. "Yes, I really like the large brass ring in your nose; it sets you off from everybody else." "Yes, your long purple hair is provocative -- in a nice way." "I understand that you are smarter than anyone else in the world --particularly smarter than your parents, or your doddering old grandparents."

F. To their own friends. "I don't feel a day over sixty."
"My children are so concerned about my welfare; I can hardly get away from them." "Oh, we still do a LOT OF THINGS together. "Yes, we are still madly in love; he/she is so thoughtful about anniversary/birthday/other important events." "Of course NOT, I would never think of leaving him/her."


Aged People are also prone to strange physical idiosyncrises:

1. They don't walk. They wobble, stagger, weave back and forth, take tiny, tiny scooting steps, step high when they are going down, step low when they are heading up.

2. They can't talk very well. Their voices are cracked, they mumble, they can't remember simple words, and if they try to sing, it's a disaster beyond belief.

3. They fall asleep at unexpected times --- like when you are talking to them. Or they stay awake all night, remembering things they did 50 years ago.

4. They don't really like to eat much anymore. Probably because everything tastes mostly like buttered cardboard, or looks like squishy goop.

5. They can't drink anyhing alcoholic because --- they already wobble, stagger, weave, etc.etc.


So what is one to do with AGED PERSONS? How about just loving them, crazy as they are; laughing with them, not at them; seeing something spiritual in them and celebrating that.

Life is mostly good, mostly fun, mostly happy, mostly challenging, mostly rewarding. Enjoy it because one day you, too, will be an AGED PERSON, and ------------------------------.