Bits and Piecers

I have decided I will write more blogs this year. I am doing it just for myself because I enjoy writing and trying to express some of the ideas that roll in and out of my brain periodically. Some thoughts are fairly inane (how cute my pet dog is), or more thoughtful, (how lucky I was to get this cute dog) or more profound, (did God have something to do with my getting this cute, loveable dog?)

What I like to do is set up questions or make comments or present arguments or just "get something off my chest" by writing about it. There is something theraupetic for me about "writing down the word."

Here are some questions I would like to discuss with myself: What kind of a God do I believe in? Why do I find it easier to like, even love, people of all kinds now than I used to? How do I make meaningful the limited time I have left in the world? (This is not a morbid thought; it is a realistic one) Why do some people have such horrible, tragic lives, while others are so obviously blessed with good lives? What are some things that make me really, really, angry? How do I walk the narrow line between being controlled by a desire to make people like me, and the
desire to be just who I am, warts and all?

I could go on and on, and probably will as long as I have the mind and physical strength to get to the computer and expound.

Okay? Okay. Now how about them dreams I have been having? I seem to have dreams all alike coming in clusters and lasting for a long period of time. Only 4 years ago up until about this past year, I constantly had nightmare dreams of someone trying to kill me. I would wake up Bill with my frenzied screaming as a monster person was slashing at me with a huge knife. Sometimes I was in my house, trying frantically to close all doors and windows before the destroyer (sometimes the Mafia) got to me. I could never make the house safe; I was always about to be killed.

Then this past year I have been dreaming that I am back in college, trying to get to my class before the students leave, and i laboriously plod along, not even sure where my classroom is, until, exhausted and worn, I get there and all the students are gone. Or I am back in grad school, and I am heading for an exam and I have never opened the textbook to study.

It is getting crazier. Last night I dreamed I had a part in a play that was to be presented to a large audience. I had NOT read the play, I COULD not move my legs and arms to get me moving toward the theatre, some good folks came for me and got my clothes ready for me to put on, which I was barely able to do and while I was telling them that I had no idea of what I was supposed to say. They gave me a printed copy of my dialog, pushed me on toward the theatre, but as I tried desperately to walk, my shoes were coming apart and the printed manuscript had dissolved into ashes. I got there, desperate and hurting all over, and decided since I had no idea of what to say I would just act like "an idiot old woman" and hope for the best. THEN I WOKE UP. Now just figure that one out, if you can.

P.S. My Christian friends remind me that God uses dreams in the Bible to get his message to human beings. If that is true today then would you like to know my conclusion to the whole matter? Simple. "I ain't no human being. I must be an alien who wandered in from outer space."

That's it, folks. Goodnite and pleasant dreams?