INSOMNIA

" . . . he would go home to his room. He would lie in the bed and finally, with daylight, he would go to sleep. After all, he said to himself, it is probably only insomnia. Many must have it." So ends Hemingway's famous short story, "A Clean, Well Lighted Place."

Many do have it. Who has not lain awake at night struggling to go to sleep? Who has not awakened in the dead of night, wide-eyed and unable to go back to sleep? We all have. The reasons for our having insomnia are probably as diverse and complex as each of us is, so I am not as much concerned about analyzing why we are victims of insomnia as I am with trying to decide how to deal positively with it.

What to do about it? Well, first of all, don't panic! That is what I used to do --always. I looked at the clock. It was 2:00 a.m. and then 3:00 a.m. and I knew I had to be awake at 6:00 a.m. I thrashed and turned and twisted and desperately tried to force myself to "go to sleep." Never worked. Simply got me into a worse state with tightened muscles and stiff lips.

So I began to think about what else I could do. First, I decided to relax."So it is 2:00 a.m. So what? Tomorrow at this time it will be 2:00 a.m. again, and I will probably be sleeping like a baby." That's a comforting thought and helps me be more philosophical about this immediate situation.

As I try to be creative, various remedies suggested by other people ramble through my mind and are discarded, one by one. Warm milk? No, thanks. Something to eat? Not hungry. Hot cuppa tea with chamomile? Ugh!

But, over time, here are two things I have tried that did work for me.

One: I get out of bed, shrug into a comfortable robe, and, depending on the season of the year I sit down somewhere. In the springtime, I slip outside on to the patio. I look up in the clear spring night at the moon radiating a soft glow over trees and shrubs, throwing interesting shadows around the area, pull up a comfortable lawn chair, and sit there. Just sit there. I sit for a considerable period of time and just let my thoughts flow over and around me. I don't worry trying to sort things out, or find solutions to problems, or do anything. I just sit there,enjoying the aloneness, the quietness, the beauty of the night.

In the winter I sit in my comfortable bedroom chair. And I do the same thing: I just sit. I let my thoughts go where they will. Sometimes my mind flits into the past and I think of lovely things that have happened to me. Occasionally, I wonder about the future, but not for long. The present is much more interesting. Sometimes I talk to God about friends or situations that concern me, or better still, I just talk to God.

The second thing? Well, this is a tricky one and I use it only very, very seldom because it involves another person, and that person must be a very special friend. And it can only be used for "early night insomnia." Never try it after midnight!

But if I am awake at twelve o'clock, this is what I have occasionally done in the past. I call this Very Special Friend and the conversation usually goes something like this:

Me: "Hi, Agnes, are you awake?

Her: "I am now, the phone just rang and woke me up."

Me: "Oh, yeah.(Pause) Well, I'm okay; no serious problem here."

Her: "I see." (an annoyed voice) "You just felt the need to call someone at midnight?

Me: "Not just someone, Agnes, YOU. You are my special friend, y'know."

Her: "Oh, yeah! (slighty mollified tone) Well, then just tell me why you called this Special Friend.

Me: "I can't sleep, and (hurridly) I justneedsomeonetotalkto."

Her: "Okay, okay, let's Talk, Friend."

And we did. For about 45 minutes. Then she hung up.

And I felt marvelous. Actually, I don't remember much about what we had talked about, but the end result was that I was happy and relaxed and I flopped over and was asleep in five minutes.

So. What about Insomnia? What about Sleep?

Both are a part of our human experience, and we can use both of these phenomena to our advantage. Can't sleep? Use the time to think and enrich your mind, to be thankful and enrich your spirit, to meditate and marvel at the life you have been given. Can sleep? Be grateful and enjoy it!!!