Time to Blog Again?

I'm not sure it's time to blog again, but that was the only title I could think of -- so much for my creativity.

I haven't been doing anything significant to be writing about, but I have been doing some thinking and feeling. Actually, the doing I do is so inconsequential and boring that no one would take time to read about it.

But, hey, the thinking and feeling --- that's something else!

So, I've been thinking about how Our Huge Fortune stashed in stocks and bonds has gone south in a big way. I don't even want to know the exact figures, but suffice it to say, we are a big percentage down from where we were in September of 2008. (If I could do the math, I'd tell you what that percentage is, but I don't do math ---I'm an English teacher)

Anyhow, the loss is pretty substantial, and my broker tells me that that amount really is gone-- despite the fact that I have sold nothing!! It just ain't there anymore. Now, what I'd like to do is find someone to blame for all this: I've thought about blaming Bush (but he doesn't care), about blaming Obama (but I don't fall under any of his guidelines to get a hand-out so why bother?), about blaming my three grown kids who are smart and should have warned their doddering old Mom, but they think I am an independent old cuss and wouldn't have paid any attention to them anyhow.

SO who am I to blame? MYSELF. That's it; that's where the buck stops; that's the way life is. And, you know what? I feel pretty good about that. Like Sinatra sings, "I did it my way." And as long as the aged brain continues to function, I will probably keep on doing it my way -- and having a great time and being wise enough to keep on taking the consequences, good or bad, that come along with my decisions.

What about feelings? I have had what we all have -- good ones and bad ones. For about a week after I changed our Tattered Fortune over from our old managment set up to a new management company, I had an absolutely terrifying number of nights when feelings of Fear, Worry, and Self-recrimination woke me up at 3 a.m. and kept me sleepless the rest of the night. It took time and several conferences with my new broker to toss those feelings into the ash heap.

But, ah, the good feelings came also.

I felt the genuine love and concern from new found friends. For no particular reason, LaRue called me to come by and visit with her and her Mom, Jane called and wanted to meet for coffee, I took an evening meal (bought from Krogers) to my newest friend, Gracie, who had knee surgery, several gals in the SS class mentioned how much they enjoyed my teaching when LaRue is gone.

And Mary Anne and Ben come by very often, and they are a delight. Mark has us over for coffee on Saturday, and we get to chat with Kim and Kat.

And so I'm feeling that life is sad and hard at times, but it is also very, very good at times.

Doing, thinking, feeling. Which one charms you the most?